Ketchup

Yeah! You correctly read what you think you did...I said ketchup. What is it? Is it a condiment or is it part of a food group? 

Well, think about it for a mere moment. Ketchup's main ingredient is the tomato. The tomato is a fruit. So, with that logic:

That would mean that Ketchup is a Fruit Smoothie! 

Discordian Calendar

The Discordian Calendar  

Many dates on this site are given according to the unholy Discordian calendar. If you don't know what "Discordian" means, you should read the Principia Discordia. You should probably read it anyway, if you haven't done so already.

The calendar is divided into five (of course!) seasons:

Name	Patron apostle
Chaos	Hung Mung
Discord	Dr. Van Van Mojo
Confusion	Sri Syadasti
Bureaucracy	Zarathud
The Aftermath	The Elder Malaclypse

The days of the week are named from the (guess what!) five Basic Elements: sweet, boom, pungent, prickle and orange:

1. Sweetmorn
2. Boomtime
3. Pungenday
4. Prickle-Prickle
5. Setting Orange

Holydays

Apostle Holydays	Season Holydays
1) Mungday	1) Chaoflux
2) Mojoday	2) Discoflux
3) Syaday	3) Confuflux
4) Zaraday	4) Bureflux
5) Maladay	5) Afflux

Apostle Holydays occurs on the 5th day of the Season.

Season Holydays occurs on the 50th day the Season.

St. Tib's Day occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5, of course) and is inserted between the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos.

Become a Pope

Like it or not, you've just become a Discordian Pope by seeing this image. And now have the power to name anyone you wish a Pope as well. You are infallible! Maybe!

Religions have Dogmas: established beliefs or doctrines held by a religion, ideology or any kind of organization, thought to be authoritative and not to be disputed or doubted. While in the context of religion the term is largely descriptive, outside of religion its current usage tends to carry other connotation — referring to concepts as being "established" only according to a particular point of view, and thus one of doubtful foundation. Discordianism only has Catmas: which are relative metabeliefs ;p

It is difficult to estimate the number of followers and correctly identify Discordian groups. This is because of the anarchist ethic that pervades Discordianism, which is reflected in the encouragement to form schisms and cabals. Additionally, few adherents hold Discordianism as their only or primary faith. Instead, Erisians tend to adopt Discordianism as a complement to other faiths.

The Principia Discordia contains the Law of Eristic Escalation. This law states that:

Imposition of Order = Escalation of Chaos

It elaborates on this point by saying that the more order imposed the longer it takes for the chaos to arise and the greater the chaos that arises. This can be read as an argument against zero tolerance and hard security, or just a statement about the world.

"Consult your pineal gland" is a common saying in Discordianism. Some Discordians seem to regard the pineal gland as the source of answers to life's most difficult questions. The pineal gland is believed by some, such as Dr. Rick Strassman (read this book DMT: The Spirit Molecule), to produce trace amounts of DMT (dimethyltryptamine), a psychedelic chemical which is believed to play a role in dreaming and other mystical states. It should also be noted that the pineal gland was also used in Descartes's explanation of Cartesian Dualism as the "seat of the soul" and the connection between the material and immaterial world. In some cases, it is referred to as "the atrophied third eye". It has also been suggested that the third eye (Ajna) physically resides at this location between the two hemispheres of the brain.

The most famous tale of Eris recounts her initiating the Trojan War. The goddesses Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite had been invited along with the rest of Olympus to the forced wedding of Peleus and Thetis, who would become the parents of Achilles, but Eris had been snubbed because of her troublemaking inclinations.

She, therefore (in a fragment from the Kypria as part of a plan hatched by Zeus and Themis) tossed into the party the Apple of Discord, a golden apple inscribed Kallisti – "For the most beautiful one", or "To the Fairest One" – provoking the goddesses to begin quarreling about the appropriate recipient. The hapless Paris, Prince of Troy, was appointed to select the most beautiful by Zeus. Each of the three goddesses immediately attempted to bribe Paris to choose her. Hera offered political power; Athena promised skill in battle; and Aphrodite tempted him with the most beautiful woman in the world: Helen, wife of Menelaus of Sparta. While Greek culture placed a greater emphasis on prowess and power, Paris chose to award the apple to Aphrodite, thereby dooming his city, which was destroyed in the war that ensued.

Read the Principia Discordia if you can withstand enormous amounts of laughter--------- 

GREEN

9R33n

On a scale of 1 to 4, what are your feelings about the color green?

The Discordian Hot Dog

H0T D09S

As all faithful Discordians know, there has long been a prohibition on the
consumption of hot dog buns. This dates back to at least the Fifth Year of The
Caterpillar when the hermit Apostle Zarathud first found the FIVE
COMMANDMENTS carved in gilded stone while building a sun deck for his cave.
The exact wording of the pertinent commandment is:

A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our 

Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

— Commandment IV of the PENTABARF              

This can be problematic for lovers of hot dogs, but at long last, I believe I
have found the perfect solution: all you need do is put the frankfurt through a
bagel.

Complete Art of Collecting Belly-button Lint

COLLECTING BELLY-BUTTON LINT

Many people collect stamps. Some people collect coins, a few collect antique bottles, others shoe laces, bottle caps, yellow pencils, and an endless array of miscellaneous items worth absolutely nothing (except, of course, to those who ardently collect them).

II
I collect belly-button lint!

Before you put this down and go back to your television, read on. It really is quite a fascinating hobby–if you like that sort of thing. Honest!–it is! Well… maybe, but it’s still fascinating. Why, believe it or not, I’ve belly-button lints from all over the world: Spain, France, China, Canada, even USSR. Indeed, I even have lints from some very famous people, too. One of my most valuable is a small wad of plaid lint from an eccentric Scotch clan-leader over 300 years old (the lint, not the man). My favorite is a piece of red lint from Khrushchev’s great gram-pa. I received that one just before I was lucky enough to possess a hunk of green lint from an old Irishman (drunken) I met one night in the gutter facing Barney’s Bar and Grill. Another priceless possession of mine is a pillow stuffed with lint of all shapes, sizes, and colors from just plain people.

A novice just can’t realize the thrill and joy obtained from the experience of discovering a piece of belly-button lint once proudly worn by General George Washington just before he met Martha.

All in all, I have about 23,000 different specimens, ranging from one st up to and including a ball almost one and one-half inches across, fished from King Farouk’s bathtub. These, I keep mounted in glass-covered wall plaques starting in the entrance hall of my home, going through the living room, dining room, through my den and ending in my bedroom. The less interesting ones I keep in my wife’s bedroom (she’s a very understanding woman) and the poor ones I keep in a box in the garage. As soon as it gets about another 7 pounds in it, I think I’ll stuff a mattress.

As far as practical uses, I have already mentioned pillows and mattresses. Well, there is an infinite source of objects that lints can be substituted for if you have a practical mind. Some of my friends are soaking them in formaldehyde and using them as mothballs. Do you have noisy neighbors? Why, just stuff some in your ears and eliminate the noise (or better yet, send a box them next door and eliminate the neighbors). Actually, you can do almost anything with this wondrous material if you have the imagination &/or the nerve.
Now that I have undoubtedly sold you completely on the art of collecting belly-button lints, your first reaction is probably: where would an ordinary person like yourself obtain old and rare lints? However, I think I should warn you about using lints for practical purposes instead of keeping them. Nothing, I repeat, nothing beats the grandeur of collecting–especially collecting such an important item as belly-button lint. What could be more satisfying than surprising your house guests by showing them a mounted board or row of glass cases containing hundreds of lints! Doesn’t it sound wonderful!!! It is almost a sure bet that they will never bother you again.

Damn good question…….

Chaos Magic in a Nutshell

Chaos Magic in a Nutshell   

In Chaos Magick we treat Belief as a Tool of Magic, rather than as an end in itself.

Hassan I Sabbah: -‘Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.’ -  (Attributed to the Old Man of the Mountains.)

Psychology: -Thoughts are not Facts.  Belief attracts Confirmation. - (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and Positive Thinking).

Chaos Magick: -Nothing has the Ultimate Truth. Anything Remains Possible. NUTARP! - (We prefer the precision of V–Prime language and thought. After all, nothing really ‘is’ anything else.)

Of course in a probability-based universe such as this, some things remain more possible than others. Fortunately, we can precisely calculate how much probability distortion a given act of magic will produce using the following equations of magic: -

           

(spell)                                        (antispell)

Where  means the probability of accomplishing something with magic; and P equals the probability of the events natural occurrence, and Ψ equals the amount of magic applied to the situation. ‘Spell’ refers to enchantment to encourage something to happen, and ‘Antispell’ refers to enchantment to prevent something from occurring. In divination P simply represents the probability of guessing the answer by chance alone.

The equations of magic give rise to three-dimensional graphs, the first of which, traditionally known as The Tripod of Stokastikos, shows that even an event with zero probability of natural occurrence can occur under the influence of sufficient magic.

Unfortunately, the ‘ingredients’ of Ψ do not equate to easily measurable phenomena: -

Where G equals Gnosis, two particular altered states of consciousness, L means the magical Link, S means Subliminalisation of intent, and B means Belief.

For an extended commentary upon these equations and their uses see Liber Kaos and particularly The Octavo. Note that in all these equations of magic all factors can have a value from 0 to 1.

To achieve maximisation of all these factors the magician may in practise need wands, robes, visualisations, symbolic systems, sigils, barbaric languages, rituals, and other means of egress from normal states of mind, even though in theory a supreme exponent of magic could achieve it all whilst sitting quietly in a chair, rather like a mathematician working without pencil or paper, wastepaper basket, blackboard, geometry instruments, books of reference, or a computer.

In a technique somewhat analogous to a mathematician using the vast store of axioms, theorems and conjectures developed by other mathematicians and suggested by nature, magicians evoke and invoke various real and imaginary entities, archetypes, and egregores on the basis of the experimental belief that the universe probably contains something somewhere that knows how to do anything, or to confer any knowledge or ability the magician might require.

Just what that something might consist of remains a subject of ongoing debate and metaphysical taste. In some cultures, magicians have appealed to the ancestors or the dead, or to the spirits of totemic animals or natural phenomena. In others, they have invoked entities from the pantheons of pagan gods or the saints and lesser spirits of monotheistic religions.

Some contemporary magicians prefer to experiment with the belief that their own subconscious either contains astonishing knowledge and power and/or that it can somehow tap into such things using some sort of quantum non-local psychic network. This can include sources of alien extra-terrestrial intelligence as well.

Either way, such ‘Spirit Guides’ seem best interfaced with by personifying them as animate entities, as our neurophysiology has largely evolved for just such forms of interaction.

Work with entities requires considerable skill and discrimination. As with people, some talk rubbish, behave unreliably and have only menial abilities, whilst others display towering genius, have extraordinary abilities, and seem worth cultivating as lifelong friends and allies.

When evaluating work with entities the magician always needs to ask, ‘Do I get out at least as much or more than I put into this relationship, do my evoked servitors actually distort probability in the required direction, do my invoked gods and goddesses, daemons and demons actually inspire me to accomplish more than I could by ordinary means?’

Whilst the supreme exponent of magic could in principle invoke or evoke anything by pure will and imagination alone, many of us seem to end up with a temple full of such tools as circles and triangles, tomes of mythology, servitor ground-sleeves, and images and sculptures of ancient, syncretic, and synthetic god-forms and demon fetishes.

For an extensive Grimoire of entities suitable for Invocation and Evocation see http://www.esotericon.org/

All esoteric phenomena from gods to demons to spirits and spells consist of relationships between self and reality. There, I have given you the final secret of the Illuminati for free.

Chaos Parable

Wicca

What is Wicca?

What discussion about paganism would not be complete without the uttering of the word WICCA? This is usually what is pictured by society when the term pagan is brought up. Wicca is a new pagan religious movement that was developed in England during the first half of the 20th century. It was publicly introduced in 1954 by Gerald Gardner, a retired British civil servant. Wicca draws upon a diverse set of ancient pagan and 20th-century Hermeticism for its theological structure and ritual practices.


Wicca has no central authority figure. Its traditional core beliefs, principles and practices were originally outlined in the 1940s and 1950s by Gardner and Doreen Valiente, both in published books and in secret written and oral teachings passed along to their initiates. There are many variations on the core structure, and the religion grows and evolves over time. It is divided into a number of diverse lineages, sects and denominations, referred to as Traditions. Each Tradition follows its own organizational structure. Due to its decentralized nature, there is some disagreement over what actually constitutes Wicca. Some traditions, collectively referred to as British Traditional Wicca, strictly follow the initiatory lineage of Gardner and consider the term Wicca to apply only to similar traditions, but not to newer, eclectic traditions.

Wicca is typically duotheistic, worshipping both a Goddess and a God. These are traditionally viewed as the Moon Goddess and the Horned God, respectively. These deities may be regarded in a henotheistic way, as having many different divine aspects which can, in turn, be identified with many diverse pagan deities from different historical pantheons. For this reason, they are sometimes referred to as the “Great Goddess” and the “Great Horned God”, with the adjective “great” connoting a deity that contains many other deities within their own nature. These two deities are sometimes viewed as facets of a greater divinity, which is regarded as an impersonal force or process rather than a personal deity. While duotheism is traditional in Wicca, broader Wiccan beliefs range from polytheism to pantheism or monism, even to Goddess monotheism.

Wiccan celebrations encompass both the cycles of the Moon, known as Esbats and commonly associated with the Goddess and the cycles of the Sun, seasonally based festivals known as Sabbats and commonly associated with the Horned God. An unattributed statement known as the Wiccan Rede is a popular expression of Wiccan morality, although it is not universally accepted by Wiccans. Wicca often involves the ritual practice of magic, though it is not always necessary.

The Faery Tradition

The Faery Tradition

Faery is a modern form of American Traditional Witchcraft derived from the teachings of Victor and Cora Anderson. These were passed down through their other initiates, still thriving even today. A rich and diverse spiritual art, Feri seeks to transform the individual through practices of ritual magic, meditation, and energy work. Faery draws power from various cultures and their magical systems including Huna; Conjure; Voodoo; Tantra; Celtic Folklore; Christian Mysticism; Yezidi Mythology; Greek Gnosis; and others, and continues to integrate the magic and mysteries of ancient and evolving cultures into its rich spiritual tapestry. Image result for faery tradition Faerie is understood and integrated through direct experience; adherents include dedicated practitioners and persons initiated ritually into its mysteries. The diversity of the Tradition can be seen in the various spellings of the name, which include Faery, Faerie, Fairy, and Feri.

Celtic Paganism

Ancient Celtic religion comprised the beliefs and practices of peoples of Western Europe now known as the Celts. The time mostly associated with Celtic society was roughly between 500 BC and 500 AD, spanning the many different periods in ancient times: the Roman, British, and Irish Iron Age societies being only three of the best known.

Very little is actually known with any certainty about the Celtic people for they did not leave written records; most all knowledge was passed down verbally, from generation to generation, and apart from documented names that are thought to be of deities, the only detailed accounts were done by the Roman invaders.


Celtic paganism was one of a larger group of Iron Age polytheistic religions.  The Celtic pantheon consists of numerous recorded deities, both from Greco-Roman stories and written literature. Figures from medieval Irish mythology have also been interpreted as iterations of earlier deities as well.

According to Greek and Roman accounts, the Druids came to be in Gaul, Britain, and Ireland. Very little is definitely known about them. Following the conquest of Gaul and southern Britannia, though, Celtic religious practices began to display elements of the new Romanization, resulting in a Gaelic-Roman culture with its own religious traditions, and thus, its own set of gods and goddesses, such as Cernunnos, Artio, Telephones, etc.

In Roman Britain, this lost at least some ground to Christianity by the time the Romans left in 410. This began to change in the next century as the pagan Anglo-Saxon religion was in the process of getting eradicated. Christianity was supplanting the earlier religious traditions; however, polytheistic traditions still left a legacy in many of the Celtic nations, and eventually served as the basis for a new religious movement: Celtic Neopaganism, in the 20th century.

Celtic Fairy Tales Download

Paganism

The pagans of the past followed the ancient gods and goddesses of the land. Paganism was the religion of the Ancestors and the reverence of nature. “Nature” provided the necessities of life: warmth, shelter, food, and water. It is, however, much more than an Earth religion. Way back in the day, mankind was struggling to survive. Of course, the natural world was the only world that most understood. This belief system could have stopped with that, but spirituality added a new element to the mix. Stories and myths were told and retold to explain every question mankind had up to that point. Today, paganism has either continued or has experienced a revival. Most everyone has heard the term Neopagan, which means new pagan. So Neopaganism is the new pagan movement following old ideas and practices, much older than most modern religions such as Judaism, Christianity, or Islam.

Sacred places are recognized either as a personified natural feature like a mountain or lake, or as a fully articulated guardian spirit, entity, or deity such as Athena, the goddess of Athens or Poseidon, the God of the Oceans. The cycle of the natural year is seen by most Pagans as a model of spiritual growth and renewal. This is most commonly known as the Wheel of the Year. The Wheel’s eight spokes are marked by festivals according to the seasons. The earth is sacred; the Wheel marks the movement of the earth through the seasons.


Each culture had its own set of beliefs and their own set of gods and goddesses. Also, the number of gods and goddesses within each culture were considerable. The funny thing about all this is that the gods and goddesses were recognized as being the same between cultures; only the names changed. The Goddess of Love was known as Venus in Rome but was called Aphrodite in Greece. Similarly, the God of Magick in Greece was Hermes; he was known as Thoth in Egypt. All Pagan religion was not public religion; much of it was domestic. This was religion that pervaded the whole of everyday life. Followers lived, breathed, and died revering the earth and their Gods. This was not a religion where you could put on a suit or dress on a Sunday morning and just give an hour of your time away. This was living Life. Magic was an acceptable activity in Pagan societies since the two worlds were thought to be in constant communication with one another. In ancient Rome, a new bride would anoint the doorposts of her new home with wolf’s fat to keep famine from the household. A new-born would receive a consecrated amulet to wear as a protection against harmful spirits. Specialist magicians, such as horse-whisperers and healers, were common throughout pagan societies.

In the present day, Paganism manifests both as communities reclaiming their ancient sites and ceremonies, and as individuals pursuing a personal spiritual path alone or in a small group. Many modern Pagans live joyfully and without shame. Modern Pagans tend to be at ease with themselves and others. Pagan women have a dignity which is not always found outside Pagan circles. Modern Pagans are often creative, playful and individualistic, affirming the importance of the individual psyche as it interfaces with a greater power. There is a respect for all of life and usually a desire to participate with rather than to dominate other beings. This is mostly true, but there are dark pagans that follow the darker aspects of the gods. These pagans are NOT evil, as such, but recognize and work with these darker energies.

Do You Believe

 

~Magick ~

Do you live with Magick? Magick is a term used to differentiate REAL Magick from performance magic.  Magick defined as “the Science and Art of causing Change to occur in conformity with Will”, including both “mundane” acts of will as well as ritual magic. It has been postulated that “it is theoretically possible to cause in any object any change of which that object is capable by nature”.
Magick is the essential method for a person to reach “true” understanding of the self and to act according to their Will.

Magick: Definition and  Purpose 

The term is an Early Modern English spelling for magic, used in various works such as Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa’s De Occulta Philosophia. Aleister Crowley popularized the old spelling in the early 20th-century occult revival. Crowley defined Magick as “the science and art of causing change to occur in conformity with will.”He goes on to elaborate on this, in one postulate, and twenty-eight theorems. He goes on further to state:

Magick is the Science of understanding oneself and one’s conditions. It is the Art of applying that understanding in action.

FLAVORS OF MAGICK

There are, however; many different divisions, or “Flavors”, of Magick: from Angelic to the Satanic. and everything in between. I do not claim to be a master of all, or even a practitioner of all of these divisions, for that matter. I will cover what I know, and give examples, insights, pointers, and (if I can) guidance to my fullest.